Wheels fails to fall off, as Kimi walks to the flag

When is a trade union not a trade union, when it is a safety only group.

So the talking point this weekend, centred around ‘the Finnish drunk’ and ‘Switz boy’ not joining the Grand Prix Drivers Association ‘GPDA’. This organisation was set up to improve driver safety in the days when the cars were made of metal, and walls were made of concrete and the drivers had less protection than a lawyer for Sir Paul, when faced by a jug of water.

The constant harping by Jackie Stewart is distasteful, yes he was responsible for making the changes that have saved many a drivers life, but to see a geriatric in tartan trousers spouting like an uncle at a disco is said.

That being said, Lewis’ behaviour is typical of the Play Station generation, happy to take the benefits, the money (without tax), the safety and the trappings of fame without giving anything back. He is the worst type of spoilt brat, he should look back at the days when Colin Chapman was able to build a car so unsafe it killed his drive, without recourse, but for the grace of god.

If F1 is to continue as a sceptical you need more than to look like Tiger Woods and be a bit quick in the one of the best cars. Grow up, do your bit, and then maybe those that really know what the history of the sport will start to rate you.

Investment Opportunity

The hypocrisy of the top teams wins again, at a time when the FIA are looking to reduce the costs of running a team, they are trying to prevent the most obvious cost saving route, sharing car development. When the Red Bull Group bought Jaguar and Minardi and looked to tub share, it looked like the way forward, unfortunately for them, they actually made it work. Toro Rosso have improved beyond site, and the former Jaguar team look more consistent (Indeed Webber kept Hamilton to behind him for 20 odd laps this weekend). But in their wisdom the powers that be are challenging this approach which could mean that the baby bulls are for sale, any takers?

Qualifying

This weekend it looked like each team had connected their cars with long string, after such a stretched grid in Australia the biggest gap between in house cars was just 4 places achieved by ‘can you hear the drums’ over Nelson ‘Ha ha’ ‘my dad was a world champion’ Piquet, and Vettel over the French American. (Boring!)

The biggest talking point was the introduction of the Mclaren chicane, a new rolling device there especially to slow down BMW’s. If it had just been ‘the boy from Switzerland’, I would have believed it, but that sort of behaviour is not what we expect from the ‘sober fin’

The Race

What a bore, back to the processional rubbish dispute the new changes. The Baby Brazilian binned it, but even that was slow and more like Alun reversing than a real F1 crash. I don’t want to see anyone hurt, but a bit like skiing you want to odd wheel rolling down the track (yes I now you don’t get wheels or tracks in skiing, but you know what I mean).

You have to say well done to the cheap cleaner in the BMW, he drove well to get his first podium in 19 months, a position that never looked under threat. You must also congratulate the sober Fin, for his first P3 finish, could we be seeing a Macca new boy beating the team leader again?????

Other than that not a lot to talk about really.

Result

1st The Finnish drunk
2nd Robert ‘the Cleaner’ Kubica
3rd The Sober Fin
4th Jarno ‘One lap only’ Trulli
5th Lewis ‘I don’t pay tax’ Hamilton
6th Nick ‘My BMW does not have indicators’ Heidfeld
7th Mark ‘but another raw prawn on the BBQ’ Webber
8th Can you hear the drums Fernando?

So it is the end of the 2 warm-up races, and lots of questions, have we learnt anything, will we be changing our teams for the first race proper

Baggy Green and Gold (396 – 184)

Won race 1 and still made 3 changes, and all showed better performance than the originals. Scored more points than everyone else did in race 1, yet still came 5th in race 2. The French American sliding off on lap 1 of a race where 17 cars finished cost the baggies, in a weekend when no one really improved much on their quallie places. Still enough to win to warm-up cup

Driven to Distraction (314 – 225)

A drunken winner, scored good points, but lost out on the weekend win due to Seb Vettel’s DNF. An improvement tho, 2nd for the race helped move the Distractions off the bottom of the warm up table to 4th.

The Phonenicii (365 – 255)

A great performance, with all drivers finishing and both constructors and engine points won, not quite enough to take the warm-up cup, but a strong 2nd, and will start the competition proper on the front foot. The best score from the 12 races!

Storm in a Tea Cup (300 – 194)

Oh dear the tea cups drop to the bottom of the table, and joint 4th for the race. Another team let down by Vettel. With the competition in anger starting in 10 days, there is the need to some Raffa style team changes.

BloodNoir (312 – 174)

A disappointing last place for the race and 5th place in the warm up cup, let down by Stulli, and the strange choice of Force India Engines (remember you have to finish in the top 3 to score engine points!). It has been widely predicated that having turned 30, the Black Bloods manager will show new insight and will be back strong for the first race proper.

Mums the Best Formula (351 – 220)

3rd for the weekend and 3rd in the Warm-up cup shows a balanced super car free team can be there challenging. Only let down by the Honda engine, I refer the manager to the point made to the black bloods.

The Next Race

Will 2 swallows make a summer for the Baggy Aussie?
Will history finally start paying off for the Distraction?
Will the Phoenix continue is rise?
Have the Tea Cups peaked already?
Will Black Blood go for slow and steady wins the title?
Will MKB stay awake long enough to make it to Bahrain?

Don’t forget you can make transfers up to 17:00 on Friday 4th April, the competition starts here!