The blog below was written during the race, and I can’t believe the final two laps. For just over a minute, I thought Massa had done it, however with 3 corners to go, Glock dropped back and the cuckoo is champion.

Congratulations Lewis, you are a great driver, now you need to learn to become a great person. You have been given a responsibility, live up to it.

A in case anyone is still wondering what I mean when I talk about class, just watch the behaviour of Massa, truly world class!

A Brazilian in Brazil with a chance to win the title, I cant begin to imagine how nervous he must be. Rain has been the biggest race changer this season, it makes me wonder whether instead on changing engine power or reducing down force, maybe the FIA should just introduce a computerised random sprinkler system. Can you imagine how exciting that would be? Of course there would be the assumption that secretly the system was controlled by Ferrari!

Speaking of Ferrari conspiracies, Blue Square had an option with odds on ‘Ferrari Stewards’ including stop go penalties, drive through penalties or black flag for Hamilton. Surely anyone who has watched this season knows that it is Ferrari themselves who have tried to lose the title. The famous, lollypop free pit stops, did not save 1 second per change, it cost two wins! If just one of those had come to fruition then the boy from Brazil would have already been champion.

I had a debate yesterday coming back from football, about why as Cuckoo boy is English I should be supporting he, and that fact that I think he is classless should not make a difference. Lets be clear, I know he is a talented driver, he has proved that many times over the last 2 years, however as he produced on the track, he has lost it in the press room. I need to like a driver to support him, I would love to have a British driver that I liked, and I like DC and Button, but the cuckoo just winds me up!

So lets have a quick review of the seasons performances:

The Drunken Finn – has never really looked interested, and looks to have decided just to take the cash.
The Baby Brazilian – A fantastic season, but if he fails to win the title it may be the best chance he will ever have.
The Real German – He has been blown away by his team mate this season. This year has shown he will never by more than a number 2.
The Cleaner – A fantastic season including his first win, and but for the BMW team not developing their car in the second half of the season he could have been a real contender.
Can you Hear the Drums – A strong finish to the season showed that he still has it, and if Renault can start next season with a strong car, he could be champion again
Baby Piquet – Rubbish all year, I will be surprised if he has a drive next year
The Finnish German – A very mixed season for Nico, at times he looked like he had real potential, but at others he was very average
Kamikaze – He caused more crashes that a white van man on the M25, and was never really at the races.
DC – In truth one season to many for the many from Twynholm, his car was never what was needed, and he was consistent out performed by his team mate.
Bruce Webber – An average season, in an average car, it cant be good that the Toro Rosso’s finished the season as the better cars!
Jarno ‘One lap’ Trulli – Some days he is hot, some days he is asleep, another season were he looked like a journeyman in need of retirement.
Timo Glock – Showed some good promise, but was inconsistent
The Frog – Showed again that being good States side does not translate to being good in F1. All season has been second to Vettel
The next new German – A race win, and from the second half of the season he was in the mix in every race.
Button – Even the mighty Brawn could not turn around a rubbish car for Honda, this meant a trundling season for Jenson. He will hope that next years car is a big step forward (Although he has been hoping that for some years now)
The Oldest Swinger in town – Other than a spectacular wet race at Silverstone, it was a season to forget for the most experienced racer on the grid
Stutil – Managed to out perform Fisi for most of the season, although spent to much time parking early.
Fisi – The excitable Italian had nothing to make him ‘very appy’.
Cuckoo Boy – Showed an erratic temperament several times this year, and it could have cost him. Had it not been for the Ferrari boys dropping the ball it could have been very different, but get ready for the UK over the top celebrations for the youngest very champion
The sober Finn – Have a very disappointing season, always looked a poor second the cuckoo. Will need a better season next year if he is to retain his seat long term.

A final note:

So we now know were the cuckoo gets it from, it the moments of victory his father showed a lack of grace, that frankly was pathetic!

So into the Fantasy World
At least one all red team won this year, as Evo takes the title.

The Phoenicii - Alun Evans - 231 - 4044

In the end he held of his wife, and scoped the prize for FF1 Champion 2008, making him the youngest ever winner of this title.

Storm in a Tea Cup - Zoe Evans - 174 - 4001

After a promising period, Zoe just couldn’t hold on (sound familiar?), however 2nd place is still a good result given the encyclopaedic knowledge the sits below her in the table.

Mums the Best Formula - Chris Brown - 296 - 3886

Beat her children (no not in that way!), comfortably mid table, just like the team she follows

Driven to Distraction - Matthew Salter - 311 - 3790

Dissappointing!

Baggy Green & Gold - Michelle Songest - 260 - 3638

Despite winning her world FF1 competition by a mile, she could only manage 5th, like Mr Webber a season which started promising much, ended with to many DFN's

BloodNoir - Liz Sara - 293 - 3209

Gave up in race 4, never really got to grips with the complex scoring system, and decided that football and cricket were more fun!

Join us next year to see:

Can Evo keep his crown?
Can the tea lady finally win @ Fantasy?
Can CMB continue to beat her children and not get reported?
Will Distraction claim their rightful prize?
Will the Baggies take their Bird form onto the wider stage?
Will Drips care?

See you all in March.

The Jester

I managed to avoid the result before sitting down to watch the race, and part of me felt that that must mean that Cuckoo boy was not yet champion.

The first 12 laps were processional, whilst there was an interesting gap challenge, it was not the wheel to wheel racing we wanted to see. And then, it was the baby Brazilian that blinked first, so 8 seconds slower, with less fuel, come on Massa! Then the Drunk and the Cuckoo pit, and still no change.

And then nothing changed, what a boring race……………….

A 89 point swing, and Mrs E, tops the table with just won race to go!

1st Teacups - 277 - 3827

5th The Phoenicci - 188 - 3813

4th MTBF - 215 - 3590

3rd Distrations - 223 - 3479

2nd Baggies - 238 - 2278

6th Blackblood - 153 - 2916

Only 5 points and chasing

At a time of world financial crises and environmental pressures it shows how out of touch the world of F1 is. This week we have had calls for budgets to be capped at £100m per season, that means that if all 10 teams didn’t race for a season they could take over an Icelandic bank, we also have the irony of a ‘motor racing, petrol burning’ sport showing its green credentials by……………

Running on diesel? – No
Making all cars have 50% recycled parts? – No
Making tires last 2 races? – No

Whilst those ideas could all help the planet, they don’t come close to ‘painting the white lines on the tires green’. Who saw that and thought, ‘at last they are taking green issues seriously!’?

The sport has becoming a boring processional trudge, races are best watched on Sky x6, where you can drop to play mode for the odd crash, and the even rarer overtaking move.

The teams, the governing body, and Andy Warhol have become a joke. The racing is secondary to the Muppet movements as Ferrari, McLaren and the FIA play ‘lets juggle the points’ to keep the title close. Racing makes people watch races, not the closeness of the title.

Baby fights back

I know there is no way I can support the bullying off the track that Massa put on Cuckoo boy, my heart says well done, at last some fight, and someone taking it to the pretty boy, but my head says it is wrong.

If have to say it was harsh that he was given a penalty for a first corner instanced, how many time have we seen cars fight to gain advantage, only to bump wheels. The reality is as he was in last place, he

It will be interesting to see what happens in the remaining races, for all the fact that I dislike the Swiss Muppet, he is a talented driver, he has some fundamental flaws. He can’t measure the requirements to become a champion, for the second year in a row, when he needs to just keep it on the black stuff, and take some points. But no, he pushed to hard, trashed his tires and no matter if he had been hit or not, he would have had to stop. The big question is can he keep it together?

For the second race in a row ‘Can you hear the Drums’ wins, who would have predicted that? Its true that we have had more winners this season that for years, but how many really interesting races have we had?

Breaking news ………………………………..

What a whiney B***tard, he hit me deliberately. The classless Muppet strikes again. Maybe he has forgotten the driving into the back of Kimi in the pit lane innocent. As anyone who has watched F1, and listened to James and Martin unless you hit square on you break you suspension, Massa may have been aggressively trying to hold his position, but it would have been worse for him if he had retired. Lets just hope, the cuckoo can drop it again in China.

The sad thing is that the F1FL is not that much more interesting. The teams have become spread out, and it looks like with two races to go the biggest question is will the Phoenix do a Lewis?

Weekly Winner – Mum!

Wow she has done it, after not getting any recognition for her best week in FFL, she has a storming week, consolidating 3rd place.

MTBF – 277 – 3375

First thanks to the Polish cleaner, and the baby German

The Red Top – 269 – 3625

Storming into a lead only a Spaniard or a Cuckoo could loss with 2 races to go.

Distraction - 196 - 3256

A poor season, getting worse

Tea Cups - 193 - 3550

1st in FFL and 2nd in F1 the queen of of Fantasy rules

Baggies - 170 - 3140

Clearly FF1 is harder than FFL, or luck counts for more in this game. Belle is storming to her works F1 title, yet is languishing in 5th place.

Black blood - 127 - 2763

Performing like her football team, it looks like 2008 will be a bad year for the FF queen. The rest of the players go Mauuuuuuuuuuuuhaaaaaaa

Night Racing

So, after 2 hours of Singapore, the question has to be why?

What did we gain from a night race, other than it meant the race was scheduled for 13:00 in the UK? The answer has to be not a lot. True it was one of the more interesting races this season, but generally I fail to see what it really gave us.

Added to which we had the bizarre pit lane close rule when under the safety car. The pit land was shut for over 5 laps, how can you put together a strategy for that?

Yet again we saw Ferrari get out the biggest gun and shoot at both their feet! They have to get rid of the stupid traffic lights system. It has now cost two races, and when you add the reliability issues you have to say the Ross Brawn Ferrari team would have already won the title.

All of which means that the cuckoo looks to have the title in the bag. Hopefully he can do the same as he did last year, and choke like a Tory MP with an orange.

As a final point, the Spanish national anthem is rubbish!

So with just 3 races to go, what do the standings look like?

236

Storm in a Tea Cup
Zoe Evans
254
3357
239

The Phoenicii
Alun Evans
231
3356
2828

Mums the Best Formula
Chris Brown
250
3098
3380

Driven to Distraction
Matthew Salter
259
3060
4741

Baggy Green & Gold
Michelle Songest
240
2970
7152

BloodNoir
Liz Sara
144
2636

What a load of Bull

So for all of you who thought I was just being anti cuckoo, I hope you all enjoyed the driver interviews before qualifying. DC, Heidfield, Kubica, Massa, Raikonan, Alonso, Rosberg, and Webber all agreed with me that he should have waited one more corner!

The only people who seem to think that Cuckoo Boy was unfairly treated are the British Journalists, and the old men of yesterday (Jackie Stewart and Lauda) those people who like the sound of their own voices.

The banging on about the quality of the race is irrelevant, the fact that Cuckoo Boy would have got past him anyway is irrelevant. And my final rant, a Steve Rider quote:

‘The decision was quite possible right but was it in the interests of the sport’ oh give me strength, so laws should be flexed if they could have an adverse effect on the competition, so you never give a penality against Arsenal if they are in contention for the title, you never send off a Man U player if they are chasing down Chelsea. Or maybe if it’s a clear road it is ok for a driver to do 150 mph.

So rain, and it looked like it would play into the hands of the Cuckoo, who no matter what I think about him as a person, is a very good driver in the wet.

However for maybe the first time this year the Macca boys got it wrong, they chose the wrong tire, true to form Cuckoo boy whinged about being randomly selected for a weight check, oh shut up you bleating muppet!

So in difficult conditions Vettel, Aussie boy and French boy were all bullish in the wet, gaining pole, third and forth respectively.

To the Race, and finally some interesting racing, its all about overtaking. The fact that no one really got close to Vettel does not matter, I am sure we had more overtaking in one race than the rest of the season to date. How many drivers, get good cars and still cant win? Vettel does it at his first opportunity.

No real change in championship, after a typical wet race performance from the Baby Brazilian, and a mixed performance from the Cuckoo.

FFL Standings

The Phoenicii
Alun Evans
248
3115

Storm in a Tea Cup
Zoe Evans
232
3093

Mums the Best Formula
Chris Brown
229
2848

Driven to Distraction
Matthew Salter
175
2791

Baggy Green & Gold
Michelle Songest
354
2710

BloodNoir
Liz Sara
196
2497

Spa, in rain

Spa, a racers track, and it was an entertaining race.

Whilst I know you may be sceptical, but I said to myself that Cuckoo boy yielded track position, but (and this is key) not the speed or positional advantage. He was able to drop in right behind the Drunken Finn, gaining the slip stream and slingshot past. Was 25 seconds a fair penalty, I am not sure, but if he had been sensible he would have yielded for the first corner, and taken him later in the lap.

This is very funny and comes via MACO:

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(People agreeing with me:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A40707876?s_fromedit=1&s_type=15&s_sport=motorsport
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/motorsport/formula_one/7605612.stm)

The Fantasy

You never know who is really leading until the pit strategies unwind, and the same is true with FF1. For weeks it has looked like the Tea Fairy would be wearing the trousers in the Evans house, but then when it comes to his double pointer, she has a mare, and he sneeks through round the out side to take her from a long way back, and its first over all, WOW!

So the table looks like this:

The Red Tops – 426 – 2867
Brewers Droop – 208 – 2861
MTBF – 318 – 2619
Distraction – 220 – 2616
Baggies – 206 – 2356
Black Blood – 191 – 2301

So just one joker left to play and it will need to be a Heath Ledger style performance to catch-up!
Join us in Italy next weekend, as it gets to the exciting point of the mix.

Keystone Pits

You have to wonder what is going on in the Finnish Ferrari, could there be a problem with the supply of potato juice for the drunken driver? He seems to have given up, poor qualifying, poor race, those who questioned his desire to win more than one title, are looking like they might have had a point.

Yet another boring race, yes it was fun to see ‘Can you hear the drums’ taken out in the first lap, but other than that it was a race that showed by street races are rubbish. You need very wide tracks that give maximum overtaking opportunities, not a twisty race, with no clear passing points.

Yet again Ferrari make a stupid mistake, Massa with the race in his pocket, was released into the path of a Force India in the pits. You have to feel sorry for the baby Brazilian, is engine failed when comfortably lead the last race, and again after dominating the race he is screwed by his team. This means that instead of being 4 points ahead, he is 10 points behind. Bad luck is one thing, team error is another!

And the there was the Drunken Finn pulling away with the fuel hose connected, F1 is a technology based sport, however why do Ferrari need an automated pit release system? The lollipop works, I am sure they will argue that it removes 1 additional human reaction speed for the stop, and that could mean 0.5 seconds difference, and that could win a race, however if it goes wrong just once (and its gone wrong twice) you lose any advantage.

Then we have an engine failure, it is starting to look like to bad old days where Ferrari could build a fast car, but fell short in the brains department.

Fun moment of the day, the Podium, 3 drivers, different height steps, yet all the same height, just shows how small the Baby Brazilian is!

The Tea Cups

Its true they cant fight on two fronts, as the tea cups have a good FFL weekend, the drop to 5th in the weekend. Even so they still have a 222 lead!

The Red Tops

Soaring like its name sake a solid 3rd (but only 10 points off 1st ) shows that he could still catch the misses

Distraction

Finally a winning week for the F1 encyclopaedic, finally he put points behind feelings and picked the Cuckoo.

MTBF

Second by 2 points, rumours that she is trying to transfer he points to her FFL team are yet to be denied!

Baggies

4th, after copying her more famous husband

Noir

Last again, nuff said

Table

Tea Cups – 2653
Red Tops – 2441
Distraction – 2396
MTBF – 2301
Baggies – 2150
Blackblood - 2110